The TWO Reasons Why We Make Important Decisions

Flashback to one year ago. I had just quit my job, took a sick vacation to Belize, was working on Idea Lemon on the side, and LOVING IT. I finally had room to breathe and figure out what I wanted next.

It.
Felt.
Great.

But there was something eating at me during this time.

A few months prior, my girlfriend and I ended our relationship and that feeling off loss/breaking up-ness kept lingering. Anytime I had a moment to my own thoughts, my ex would come up.

Then, from out of nowhere, I find out she’s dating someone new and my world turns completely upside down. Doesn’t it suck when that happens? You experience every negative emotion possible. Anger, betrayal, sadness, hopelessness, the list goes on and on.

 

What did I do?

 

My gut reaction said, “I feel like Austin or Portland is calling my name, and now is the perfect time to make a move. My ex and I clearly aren’t getting back together, so this is a great chance for a fresh start. I can get a new job at a new company, live in a new city, and really get out of my comfort zone. I’ve been in Chicago my whole life…now is the time to PUSH my comfort zone. I need to do this!”

 

….

 

Let’s pause the story for a moment. A couple weeks ago, an Idea Lemon tribe member wrote me saying this:

 

There's so much turmoil going on inside my head and real life career wise.
I work for this corporation but I'm not enjoying it at all. To top it I had a major health issue pop out of nowhere recently.
My head's full of ideas though. I just don't know how to clear up this mess and start living a more meaningful life by starting at a career that I'll actually be comfortable in.
-RR

 

This person is already in turmoil with her career, and then her world gets turned upside down with a major health issue popping up out of nowhere. What should she do?


…

 

Back to the story.

 

I felt destined to get out. Then, suddenly, I changed my mind.


I went from researching companies I could work for in Austin or Portland, to pulling a complete 180, and dedicating myself to Chicago so I could build Idea Lemon.

 

Why did this happen?

 

I realized something that changed my decision-making.

I realized WHY we make important decisions.

 

There are 2 reasons why we make important decisions:

  1. We’re running away from what we fear, or

  2. We’re running towards what we want.

 

When we’re running away, we make scared decisions. When we’re running towards, we make empowered decisions.

I thought I needed to move cities, but what I really needed was to confront my issues.

It wasn’t about breaking comfort zones, and having new experiences. It was about running away from the city where I was surrounded by memories of my ex.

When it hit me that I was making my decision out of fear, and running away from something, I pumped the brakes and said, ‘No. I can’t do that. I can't live in fear.'

 

I decided I should run towards what I really wanted: Building my own company in the city I loved.

 

And I can say with a smile that the last year has been pretty damn awesome.

 

To our tribe member, RR (the person who wrote me)--You have a million things inside your head, but you have two options for what’s next: Run away, or run toward.

 

Run toward what you want. Don't run away from what you fear.

 

Written by Cofounder Rajiv Nathan

4 Must-Have Resources For Your Growth

I was looking through some materials recently and decided to compile some really kickass things created by the dope members of the Idea Lemon Tribe. (Hint hint--if you aren't a member, enter your email in that box at the top or to the right).

These are 2 must-read, and 2 must-watch books and videos.


2 things you must read…

Geoff Novak reached out a couple months ago in response to one of my emails to show me an ebook he wrote about the meaning of life. I read it, and was immediately hooked. It’s actually a 3-part series, and reading the entire thing takes maybe 45 minutes.

The book is called Ku, which means “void”. Ku starts out with a disgruntled man in a busy city bumping into someone who starts a conversation with him about life, and finding what’s truly important. As the story unfolds we see this turn into a conversation between the man and his own conscience. Through the 3 parts we learn what he truly cares about. When I say this book is a conversation, I mean that literally. This is what every page looks like:

Trust me when I say you will see the conversations you have in your own head play out in this book. There are 3 books in this series, Ku, Fu, and Ka.

Start with Ku, and I guarantee you will pick up Fu and Ka.

Get Ku as an ebook download on Amazon for $7.77


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Our last podcast of 2015 was with John Schnettgoecke. John recently published an Amazon best-seller entitled, Pura Vida, A Thinker’s Guide To Living: 12 Must Answer Questions on Happiness, Habits, & Hustle for mixed up millennials.

If you feel at all like a mixed up millennial, or if you’re not a millennial but want to know some of the shit that runs through our heads, then scoop this book. Martin and I are actually featured in part of the book, answering two of those Must Answer Questions.

Get Pura Vida as an ebook download on Amazon for $3.99.


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2 things you must watch...

A couple months ago I wrote about our friend Liz Flores, who we’ve also had on the podcast, and her recent TED Talk about being made for more (this actually inspired Geoff Novak to share Ku with me). Her talk is now available online.

 

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And ANOTHER individual who we had on our podcast is Stevie Kane. We met Steve in Seattle while on our podcast season 2 epic road trip. Steve is spreading a message of Strictly Good Energy into the world.

He just dropped a video parodying DJ Khaled, if DJ Khaled were to deliver motivational messages.

How to Shut Up Your Inner Critic

"Quiet you!" - Me to the voice in my head.

Martin here!

The other night, I was digging through some boxes at my parent's house and found an old video camera with two tapes labeled "Martin's Movies #1 & #2".

Now, I've always known I was a little weird... or, at least that's what people keep telling me, but it wasn't until I sat down and watched these tapes that I realized just how weird'a kid I really was.

IMG_0404.jpg

Yep...that's me crawling on the floor, pretending to be The Crocodile Hunter, while my little brother giggles uncontrollably from behind the camera...

Blast from the Past!

What I love about finding these tapes, beyond the nostalgia, is seeing how fully my friends and I embraced our "weird side".

Like the clip where my friend Matt and I lip-synced an entire Linkin Park album.

Or, the one where I painted my face green and had my friend Zax interviewed me as the lead singer of The Green Man Group, a former member of The Blue Man Group, who was kicked out of the band over creative differences. 

Yeah... it got weird. 

But, we didn't care! We were in 6th grade, it was summer, we were bored, and we wanted to create something new.

The time between idea and execution was fast too! 

We'd be laying there in sleeping bags, playing Tony Hawk Pro Skater, when an idea would pop into our heads. Immediately, we'd grab the camera, start filming, and let the chips fall where they may. 

"Fifteen years can give you such a crick in the neck!" - Genie? 

But, things changed as I grew up. Somewhere in that 15 year span, creativity became scary. I'd think of something silly and the little voice in my head would quickly identify it as a "bad" idea, and I'd go back to checking email, or something less ridiculous.

This little voice is called our "inner critic", and while it can, at times, save us from doing something we might regret, more often, it overreacts and draws on our self-doubt to undermine our confidence.

Our inner critic holds us back from pursuing the things in life that we want. 

Amy Pohler, from Parks & Recreation, wrote a book called Yes Please!, where she had to battle her inner critic every day of writing. I love her advice on how to get that little gremlin in your head to shut up, so I'll let her take it from here...

“How do we move forward when we are tired and afraid? What do we do when the voice in our head is yelling that WE ARE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT? … Well, the first thing we do is take our brain out and put it in a drawer. Stick it somewhere and let it tantrum until it wears itself out. … And then you just do it. You just dig in and write it. You use your body. You lean over the computer and stretch and pace. You write and then cook something and write some more. You put your hand on your heart and feel it beating and decide if what you wrote feels true. You do it because the doing of it is the thing. The doing is the thing. The talking and worrying and thinking is not the thing. That is what I know. Writing the book is about writing the book.”  - Amy Pohler

Weird on Purpose

Amy is dead-on with her breakdown of the inner critic.

The only way to truly build confidence in yourself and in your life is to take chances, sit down, and do the work. 

In my previous post about my fear of writing, I overcame my inner critic by writing and journaling everyday. Putting quantity over quality until I had enough material to pick-and-choose what I wanted to share. 

These old videos got me thinking. What other bucket-list items was I procrastinating because of my inner critic?

Turns out, it was making videos again.

INTRODUCING: The Raj & Martin Show!

For the past year, I've been shyly thinking that it would be a good idea for Idea Lemon to make videos. But, I never felt I was ready to start, because I didn't know how to use the software, wasn't sure what to make videos about, yada yada yada.

Then I realized, if little Martin could do it without fear in 6th grade, then there shouldn't be anything holding back this Martin from doing it today.

Just do it!

Amy and Nike are right. We just needed to do it. So, I surprised Raj with a calendar invite, titled "The Raj & Martin Show!" and blocked off 30 minutes for us to record our first episode.

In the past week, we've created three videos, with many more to come. Each one giving a 5-10 minute answer to a question from one of you, our loyal readers! 

Questions like, "Who inspires you?", or "What skills are needed to succeed in entrepreneurship, or marketing today?"

There was a bit of a learning curve with the first one, but the quality continues to improve, and like our podcast, a year from now, we will be able to look back and see how far we've come. Plus, we will also have a new skill to add to our arsenal of abilities. #winning

...and as you can see, by the title of episode 3 - I'm still finding ways to keep it weird ;)

Enjoy!

What is your inner critic stopping you from doing in your life? (writing, making art, asking for that promotion?)

And what questions do you have for us, that we could answer in future episodes of The Raj & Martin Show!?

Let me know by replying to this email. I read every response.
 
"I can't believe you answer all your email personally. You deserve a high-five... Just know that you've officially become my virtual therapist." -J

Wow, how could I not read it all with awesome feedback like this?!


Less worrying. More doing! 
Keep It Awesome,